its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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