it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
