we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
