I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
