how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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