You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
