Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I have feelings that need drinking.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
