i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
