I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
