listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
two words: eviction party
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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