Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
