WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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