I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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