the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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