This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
