we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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