If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
