I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
