Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
