I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
