But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Everyone says I win the strip club
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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