there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
