if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
