yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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