It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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