I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
