she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
