Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
