so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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