you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
