Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
How does one acquire holy water?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
