Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Randomize
