OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she looked like the before picture.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
