weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
