my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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