I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
