Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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