Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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