I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
