I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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