If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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