the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
