i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
