We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize