What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He felt like a one man threesome
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize