Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
why do cheetos always look like penises
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
