There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
