Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
