My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
