I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
