Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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