North Korea, Best Korea!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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