I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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