i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
meet me or not, i'm out of control
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
