am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
