dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize