I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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