She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
